


Confessions On The Balcony

by pandafarts



Series: From here on out with love [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Never Have I Ever, Past Child Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Supportive Otabek Altin, Trauma, Перевод на русский | Translation in Russian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 13:01:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18811414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandafarts/pseuds/pandafarts
Summary: A casual lighthearted game of "Never Have I Ever" triggers some memories the Ice Tiger would prefer not to think about. Otabek, who feels a constant pull to be near Yuri, does his best to help.





	Confessions On The Balcony

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Признания на балконе (Confessions On The Balcony)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20976443) by [Shae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shae/pseuds/Shae)



> AN: This makes direct mention to child molestation, but nothing occurs in the story. I don’t think it’s graphic, but it is talked about. If that is triggering, please don’t read this, although I do believe it’s handled as well as I can. The story overall is intended to be sweet. Really, really debated on posting this.
> 
> Now translated to Russian! If you feel more comfortable reading in Russian, here's the link. I'm really freaking excited about that, so thank you Shae for translating!

The thing that surprised Otabek the most was the undeniable pull to be close to Yuri. It wasn’t even a desire per say, but an aching need to reach out and be near his companion. It didn’t even really matter that they didn’t reside in the same country, or that they were rivals. The pull was the same, unquestionable, and strong enough to take his breath away in its intensity.

Sometimes he liked to delude himself that Yuri felt the same way. The younger was more or less abandoned at times. Try as his found family might, he gave the air of being someone who was cursed to be alone, and frankly, some of that was his own doing. He didn’t open up well to vulnerability, didn’t instigate social outings. To his credit he sometimes allowed himself to be coerced into gatherings, especially with Yuuri and Victor, whom he seemed to trust or at least tolerate.

His family, who he spoke little on, seemed to be limited to his found family and to his Grandfather. He gave no indication of having a father, and gave little thought or mention to his mother. Otabek felt at times that he ached at the emptiness in Yuri’s life.

As it were, they had managed to end up in the same country for a competition. It was over with; a silver for Yuri and a gold for Katsuki, who seemed overjoyed and over the moon. Otabek himself had edged out Phichit for Bronze, which was not his preference but still hard fought and well earned if he did say so himself.

They all found themselves afterwards gathering in Victor and Yuuri’s hotel room, the whole gang, in high spirits and playing silly games that he hadn’t played in ages.

“Okay, ummm, “ began Phichit, “Never have I ever, had a threesome.”  
To absolutely no one’s surprise, Christophe put down a finger. As the game progressed, with laughter and some very sexual claims, Otabek noticed that Yuri grew increasingly tense and tight at his side.  
Yuuri mentions not have his first kiss until later than usual in life, the crowd whoops with glee, teasing fondly about how Victor was lucky to have him and Yuri sulked like a statue.

He wanted to inquire, wanted to check, but wasn’t sure how to do so without alerting everyone to Yuri’s discomfort. Given the odd looks the blonde was starting to attract maybe some people already knew.  
Several questions later, he felt like Yuri was giving off a nervous energy, more so than when his strange behavior started.  
“What about you Yurio?” asked Victor, “It doesn’t have to be anything sexual. You can’t think of anything?”  
Yuri paused. When he spoke, his voice was tight.  
“No.”  
Victor frowned.  
“Do you not want to play anymore?”  
“No! Of course not! This game is fucking stupid.” Yuri said, red faced, before standing and storming out to the balcony.  
Everyone stared, and their eyes fell on Otabek, seeing as he was usually the best translator to Yuri’s behavior. He wordlessly follows him outside.

Once there, the blond gives off an instant vibe that something is very wrong, indeed. He doesn’t even look up when he hears the door slide shut.  
He is tense, and quiet and distressed.  
Otabek feels Yuri’s pain in his chest like a physical and terrible weight.  
There is a heavy tension and a long pause. Otabek gives him a few moments of silence, before the strangest things happens.  
Yuri does something he’s seen him do for warm-ups, the thing where he does a vertical split, leg straight in the air. He’s wearing leggings and not jeans for once, which is probably why it’s so easy. After he pulls out of the stretch, he speaks with his back mostly turned from Otabek.  
“Can you do that?”  
“No. I can’t”  
Yuri pauses.

“I can because I trained to. It helps with my flexibility and form, but I trained my body to do it. I decided to do it, I decide to do it every time I go into it.” He turns toward Otabek, and his face seems so wrong, so desperate. “And you can’t do it because you never learned. But what if…” Yuri’s voice cracks.  
“What is someone made you?”

The balcony feels pregnant with tension. The night air is chilly as it whips through the railings. This, Otabek realizes is very dire.  
Otabek opens his mouth but Yuri presses on.  
“Does it count? If someone physically made you do the stretch, does it count as you doing it? Or not because you didn’t decide to do it? Have I done… those things? In the game… does it count? Should I put my fingers down?

Yuri has started crying, and yet he keeps talking, his face is red and tear streaked, his shoulder tensed, seemingly ready to flee.  
It all clicks, with a sickening realization, why Yuri never speaks of his parents, why he lives with his Grandfather. It clicks and Otabek’s heart is shattering into a million pieces.  
“It’s… not fair.” Yuri stutters.  
Otabek has heard enough. He distinctly feels tears down his own cheeks.  
“Yuri fuck, I’m so sorry.”  
Yuri gives him a wide eyed look.  
“You’re… You’re crying.” He says.  
“Yeah,” Otabek agrees helplessly.  
“You’re crying for me?” Yuri says breathlessly. He reaches out and they are embracing not a second later. It’s there again, the uncontrollable need to be close, maybe a little desperate in the way Yuri clings to him. Chest to chest with Yuri’s wet face tucked under his chin he can’t help that even though this moment is mind-numbingly awful, it feels like coming home.

“I don’t think you need to put any fingers down. It matters, it does, but I’m not sure it counts against you.” Otabek says shakily into blond hair.  
“You think so?” Yuri says into his shoulder, hopeful.  
“I mean…. You’re still valuable. You’re not dirty or unlovable or anything like that. You’re incredibly important to me, Yuri. If you need anything please tell me, I’d love to help.”

Yuri sniffles and nestles even closer.  
“I should get a counselor, but I’m embarrassed.”  
Otabek laughs sadly.  
“I wish we lived in the same city. I’d take you to one on the bike everyday if you needed me to.”  
Yuri sniffs again.  
“You’re a good person Beka. You’re important to me too.”

Otabek tightens his grip and feels the pull even more. The urge to be close in this moment feels more protective than self satisfying. If Yuri’s okay with it, he’ll never resist the pull again.  
“So are you.”

He hoped that someday he could be free to love Yuri. That he could help him heal by showing him, that sex (which was endless different from abuse) was not a dirty thing.

That was a dream for when they were older, and Yuri was less frightened.  
Right now though this, with Yuri’s grasp on him bordering on painful, was definitely enough.

Otabek cradled him impossibly closer, and sent out a silent prayer for healing.

He deserved anything he needed. Otabek was utterly on his side.


End file.
